You’re Not a Machine: 5 Moments When Founders Need to Stop Holding It All In
Founders, cut the shit.
Building a company isn’t just a career move; it’s a psychological gauntlet. And yet, too many of us keep our struggles locked up tight, as if admitting a crack in the armor is a betrayal of our ambition.
What the chest-thumping, alpha-mindset types won’t tell you is this: when you hold it all in, you’re not building confidence. You’re building pressure.
And pressure without release isn’t strength. It’s a countdown.
The Trap of Stoicism
We’re told to be stoic. To push through. To ‘never let them see you sweat.’ And sure, that mindset can get you through some brutal days. It sharpens your edge.
It keeps you moving when others hit the brakes.
But it’s also a trap. It cuts you off from the lifeline of connection, perspective, and real relief. It turns you into a pressure cooker; tightly wound and just one disruption away from a meltdown.
Worse, it’s a myth. No one, not even the ‘up-before-dawn, ice-bath, crushing-it-before-coffee’ types, run their companies without hitting a wall. Everyone cracks.
And if you refuse to admit it, you’re setting yourself up for a hard fall.
The Business Case for Vulnerability
I know what you’re thinking. “I don’t need to dump my stress on my team. I just need to keep pushing.” And yeah, maybe crying into your quarterly earnings call isn’t the move.
But pretending you’ve got it all together, all the time? That’s a bigger risk.
When you hold back, you set the tone. If you hide your struggles, you give everyone else permission to do the same. You build a wall between you and your team. You create a false reality where no one admits what’s really going on, where issues fester, and where trust erodes.
Now everyone is burying their concerns, dodging accountability, and avoiding the hard conversations that actually move the needle.
Authenticity isn’t just a warm and fuzzy word. It’s a strategic advantage. When you drop the pretense, you give your team permission to do the same.
I’m not saying you need to air every insecurity or trauma, and the whole “bring your whole self to work” mantra is a bit of a stretch for most working cultures.
But a measured level of honesty? A crack in the armor now and then? That can build the kind of social capital you’ll need when the wheels come off.
That’s how you get real conversations, real problem-solving, and a culture that can handle the truth when things get messy.
And if you can’t do that, don’t be surprised when the cracks start to show.
When to Actually Share What’s Really Going On
So when do you share? Not in a whining, self-pitying way, but in a way that’s real and constructive.
Here are a few moments when even the most serious (me included), all-business founders should consider letting others in:
- When You’re Out of Perspective: When every small setback feels like a massive failure, it’s time to let someone in. You need someone who can pull you back from the ledge and remind you of the bigger picture.
- When You’re Hitting a Plateau: If you’re making the same decisions over and over with no real progress, chances are you’re trapped in a loop. Talking it out can reveal blind spots and open up new paths forward.
- When You’re Burning Out: Ignoring your mental and physical limits isn’t just unsustainable; it’s a fast track to bad decisions and emotional detachment.
- When the Stakes are High: If a major decision is eating you up, you owe it to yourself (and your team) to pressure-test your thinking with someone you trust.
- When Your Gut is Off: If you can’t tell if your anxiety is a warning sign or just noise, talking it out can help you recalibrate. Sometimes your gut needs a second opinion.
Reclaiming Your Edge
Sharing isn’t weak. I'm not sure how many times I need to say this to any one person for them to get that in their bones.
It’s about being smart. It’s about reclaiming the mental space to make sharp, confident decisions without the weight of unspoken fears.
So drop the act. Share the burden. Use it as a strategic advantage, not a liability.
And if you're not sure how to do that in a way that works for you, your team and your culture, ping me.
